National Coming Out Day - October 11

National Coming Out Day (NCOD) 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Coming_Out_Day 

This is an annual awareness day that is observed on October 11 to support any LGBT+ member "coming out" of the closet, whether it be to their significant other, their family, their smaller circle of friends, colleagues, or the whole world.

The first NCOD in the United States was in 1988 (marking its 35th anniversary in 2022).  

NCOD Observance is also done in Ireland, Switzerland, the Netherlands, and United Kingdom. 

In the United States, NCOD is sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign with annual themes.

At the very beginning, it was grounded in the feminist and gay/ lesbian liberation spirit and the most basic form of activism being living life as an openly lesbian or gay person. The psychology behind this is that homophobia thrives in an atmosphere of silence and ignorance. People who know they are loved by their family, friends, and colleagues, even after coming out, are far less likely to maintain homophobic or oppressive views.

I do not personally care too much about that psychological explanation. I don't believe all gays and lesbians, and other LGBT+ members, suffer from homophobia. At least my simple child does not, other than some non-believing jokes about moving to Texas with me and being shot in the parking lot (however, for that valid phobia, I am willing to allow her to live with her father in California in her senior year of high school, so that she could have her peace of mind). I also don't believe by coming out, homophobia will go away overnight. It is more complicated than that.

But, as someone who is somewhat free spirited, someone who wants to treat others the way she wants to be treated, I want to be my truest self, I want to hold up my value system (which may overlap but not necessarily identical to other value systems such as the law, culture, or religions). I want the freedom to make my own conscious decisions and take full responsibilities for the consequences, while at the same time making sure I am a contributing member of the society and I am here to marginally make the world a better place.

One of the biggest social transitions we did early on after my kid came out to me was to take her to our local Pride Fest. I was up close and cheering and whistling and waving. I was wearing rainbow all over me. I was a strong ally, basically. But, I was not a member. I knew the euphoria I got was coming from being a good and supportive person, not from being accepted or belonging like the real LGBT+ members feel. My child, shy and worried, hid behind a tree peeking out most of the time, she did not want to be associated with a crazy and loud mom, but, I saw the beaming light in her eyes and the blush cheeks on her face. She was clearly excited, and I, in that moment, knew for sure I must accompany her on this long journey to happiness, and I will fight if I have to.

 

LGBT+ History Month - October

This is not to be confused with LGBT+ Pride Month, which is usually June.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_History_Month

In the United States, Canada, and Australia, it is celebrated in October. In Hungary and the United Kingdom it is observed during February (in the UK this coincides with a major celebration of the 2003 abolition of Section 28). In Berlin, the capital of Germany, it is in May (known as Queer History Month). 

In the United States, October was chosen as the month for the celebration because the first and second LGBT Marches on Washington, in 1979 and 1987, were in October; National Coming Out Day (NCOD) is on October 11 to mark the date of the Second March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights in 1987, and October is within the academic calendar year.  

LGBT History Month is intended to encourage honesty and openness about being LGBT. While it was first known as Lesbian and Gay History Month, it has become known as LGBTQ+ History Month.

LGBT Rights in the United States

LGBT rights progress - in the United States

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_the_United_States

* Same-gender sex *

It is hard to believe that not too long ago, in 1962, all 50 states criminalized same-gender sexual activities!!!

By 2003 all remaining laws against same-sex sexual activity were invalidated with the last one in Lawrence v. Texas. 

* Marriage *

The movement to obtain civil marriage rights and benefits for same-sex couples in the United States began in the 1970s but remained unsuccessful for over forty years. 

On May 17, 2004, Massachusetts became the first U.S. state and the sixth jurisdiction in the world to legalize same-sex marriage following the Supreme Judicial Court's decision six months earlier.

Before nationwide legalization, same-sex marriage became legal in 36 states; twenty-four states by court order, nine by legislative action, and three by referendum. Some states had legalized same-sex marriage by more than one of the three actions.

On June 26, 2015, the Supreme Court ruled in Obergefell v. Hodges that states must license and recognize same-sex marriages. Consequently, same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Guam, U.S. Virgin Islands, and Northern Mariana Islands.

Currently, same-sex marriages are neither licensed nor recognized in American Samoe, due to its unique constitutional status. 

The legal status of same-sex marriage also varies in Native American tribal nations, as their reservations are considered sovereign entities and were not affected by the Supreme Court's legalization in 2015.

* Anti-discrimination laws *

U.S. federal law does not explicitly include protections against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. 

In June 2020, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that sexual orientation and gender identity are included under "sex" as a prohibited ground of employment discrimination in the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The ruling may impact other federal civil rights barring sex discrimination in education, health care, housing, and financial credit.

Explicit and comprehensive anti-discrimination protections based on sexual orientation and gender identity are considered by the United States Congress under the Equality Act (May 17, 2019). As of July 27, 2020, the bill remains in the Senate.

* Employment *

There is no federal statute explicitly addressing employment discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. 

However, in June 2020, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that sexual orientation and gender identity are included under "sex" as a prohibited ground of employment discrimination in the Civil Rights Act of 1964. This effectively means that in the U.S., no employer can fire an employee on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity.

Twenty-four states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Guam, and over 140 cities and counties have enacted bans on discrimination based on sexual orientation and/or sexual identity. 

Additionally, some states have laws or regulations that ban discrimination based on gender identity and/or sexual orientation in public employment only. 

At the start of 2010, the Obama Administration included gender identity among the classes protected against discrimination under the authority of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). 

In 2012, the EEOC ruled that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 does not allow gender identity-based employment discrimination because it is a form of sexual discrimination.

On July 21, 2014, President Obama signed Executive Order 13672, adding "gender identity" to the categories protected against discrimination in hiring in the federal civilian workforce, and both "sexual orientation" and "gender identity" to the categories protected against discrimination in hiring and employment on the part of federal government contractors and sub-contractors.

President Obama's related Executive Order 13673 required federal contractors to prove their compliance with labor laws, but President Trump revoked this requirement on March 27, 2017.

* Housing *

In 2012, the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development's Office of Fair Housing and Equal Opportunity issued a regulation called "Equal Access" to prohibit LGBT discrimination in federally-assisted housing programs.

It ensures that the Department's core housing programs are open to all eligible persons, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. In 2019, however, there was an attempt to weaken the regulation.

Pride Fest

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride_parade

Pride Parade and Pride Festival debuted in 1970 in memorial of a 1969 event in Manhattan (NYC) with the original focus of gay rights. At its 52th year, Pride Festival now not only celebrate LGBT+ community (lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders, queers, asexuals, plus...) but also encourages social and self acceptance, achievements, legal rights, human rights, and *pride*. Pride Fest is usually in late June, but where we live, the city chose to celebrate July as the Pride Month.

I have always known from groups I am a member of, that being an ally is, in some way, still being an outsider. Here are some examples.

I am on/ in several committees to promote equity, inclusion and diversity, and typically, we immediately think of racial equality for the minorities (which is a narrow definition). I have seen white allies being accused for making insensitive statements or misunderstanding the non-whites. I have also felt most efforts are spent on African-Americans and not on other minorities such as Indigenous or even Asians.

I listened to a podcast interviewing Danielle Ponder, a rising song writer-singer from Rochester, New York, and even though she became a full-time singer at the age of 39, she used to be a public defender and the reason was, when she was very young, her brother violated the "three-strike law" in New York and had to go to prison for 20 years for three misdemeanors he committed. She saw it from inside out.

I took my child to Pride Fest this year as the first major activity towards gender-affirming. We were in Manhattan, NYC right by Pride Fest in June 2021, and I did not really know what it was or did I care too much. Ally to me means supporting the community to have their freedom while I mind my own business. This year, though, I moved from the front-row audience to being on the stage. My shy child hid away behind a tree, but peeking with curiosity and excitement beaming in their eyes.

Transgender Day of Visibility

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2022/03/31/fact-sheet-biden-harris-administration-advances-equality-and-visibility-for-transgender-americans/

On March 31, 2022, the administration recognized Transgender Day of Visibility, an annual celebration of the resilience, achievements, and joy of transgender people in the United States and around the world.

Every American deserves the freedom to be themselves. But far too many transgender Americans still face systemic barriers, discrimination, and acts of violence.

Transgender people are some of the bravest people in the nation. But nobody should have to be brave just to be themselves. On this day, the administration announced new actions to support the mental health of transgender children, remove barriers that transgender people face, and improve the visibility of transgender people in the nation's data.

#1. Reinforcing federal protections for transgender kids.

#2. Advancing dignity, respect, and self-determination for transgender people by improving the traveler experience.

#3. Providing resources for transgender kids and their families.

#4. Improving access to federal services and benefits for transgender Americans.

#5. Advancing inclusion and visibility in federal data.

Historical work to advance equality for transgender Americans include:

- Combating legislative attacks on transgender kids at the state level.

- Advancing civil rights protections for transgender Americans.

- Supporting transgender service members and veterans.

- Responding to the crisis of anti-transgender violence and advancing safety.

- Advancing health equity and expanding access to gender-affirming health care to transgender patients.

- Supporting transgender students and their families.

- Promoting fair housing and ending homelessness for transgender Americans.

- Advancing economic opportunity and protections for transgender Americans.

- Advancing gender equity and transgender equality at home and around the world.

- Supporting transgender leaders and public servants.

- Advancing visibility for transgender Americans.

https://www.emilyperlkingsley.com/welcome-to-holland

©1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.  Reprinted by permission of the author.

Welcome To Holland

By Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.